carry on regardless

Well I saw the oncologist on Wednesday, and he - Dr Biswas - says that the ct scan results are inconclusive, but that he feels that the 5FU or fluorouracil treatment is not working as well as he wants. Even though I am feeling absolutely fine at present he has persuaded me that it would be for the best if I were to come off this drug and to start me on a new cocktail of three. Reluctantly I have agreed. I was tolerating the 5FU so well, and have been feeling fit, regaining my weight and strength and generally was in the pink.

So at short notice we have been given three weeks chemo holiday. Next week there is family business to attend to. Then, as Lynne has managed to arrange a couple of weeks off work at short notice, we head for the Scottish islands on Saturday May 5th, via Aberdeen to see Lynne's brother and his family.

Upon my return I will be climbing back on the chemo bandwagon and onto my cocktail of three:- Irinotecan, also called Campto, Avastin, and more 5FU. The combination will be more potent, but I can expect my hair to fall out. It will also make me tired.

Lynne and I are being philosophical, on the basis that if at first you don't succeed then of course try again. Dr Bis says there are one or two other tricks up his sleeve if this doesn't work.So there are reasons to be cheerful.

We do enjoy each and every day together, and there will undoubtedly be many many more moments of joy and contentment ahead for us. I am as happy as I have ever been, and I take great pleasure in my family and friends and in everything that life has to offer. Like Iris Murdoch I have come to believe that “One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats.” For example we did the three tiered plate at the Assembly House this afternoon. Sandwiches, scones and cakes all washed down by three cups of the hot and freshening. Delicious!

I pray and hope that I will continue to find the strength to carry on regardless of this (ultimately) life-blighting illness. When we talk longevity, I want my -evity to be as long as the road from here to the back of beyond!